pettifog: to bicker or quibble over trifles or unimportant matters.

How many of us have walked away from a disagreement thinking "was it really all that worth it?"  Aren't all arguments pettifogs then??  If we look at the definition, we see that a 'pettifog' is over unimportant matters..... Well, in the end of a disagreement, once we have calmed down and looked back on it all, we realize that it probably was a trifling matter we were disagreeing over in the first place.  We bicker about whose turn it was to feed the cat or walk the dog, whose job is harder; the homemaker or the breadwinner, which one of us gets to decide what to watch on TV tonight, where your partners eyes really were wandering.  The possibilities, and the quibbles are endless. 

But for a minute, just for the sake of comparison, let's take a look at the 'larger' matters people feel the need to get their back up about.  Is your partner drinking too much really that big a deal?  Yeah, maybe it is.  Especially if he's in his 30's, has two kids, and gets so drunk, he pukes all over himself.  Is your sister's disrespectful behaviour towards your grandmother really all that bad?  Yeah, maybe it is.  Especially if your grandmother is the sweetest woman in the world (which, I am sure most of us believe our grandmothers are), loves you unconditionally, and wants nothing more than to be a part of your life.  And what about when your mother sent back all the pictures she had of you, right from a baby up until now, along with anything and everything you've ever given her, including all pictures of the newest love of you life- your daughter.  Was that really so disgusting and heart wrenching that it would warrant you never speaking to her again?  Okay, maybe that one can be the exception.  But for the most part, all those other things don't really matter in the end.  All those other things become pettifogs when you start to look at the big picture. 

Life is a short and precious thing.  We don't know how much time we've been given.  Some of us have been granted way less than others, some way more.  But the amount of time we have, isn't what matters.  What we do with the time we have, does.  So for the sake of spending each precious moment thinking about, and being a part of what really matters, and what is really important to us, let us believe that all disagreements are trifling matters and therefore in essence....... pettifogs!