Tuesday, 14 August 2012

inamorato:a man who loves or is loved; male sweetheart or lover.

Soul mate, kindred soul, heart's desire....... I'm sure at some point in our lives, we have all wished for, longed for, hoped for that one true love, that knight in shining armour that is going to come in and sweep us off our feet, our other half that will complete us and lead our lives to fulfilment, to the point where we have nothing else we could possibly want for. 

But what about a sweetheart, a honey, an inamorato?  We seem to have fewer expectations when it comes to them.  They are the ones who will be there to cuddle with us on a rainy day, console us when we get into a fight with our best friend, canoodle us when we are longing for passion.  But what else does their job entail and how are they any different from the above mentioned?

Soul mate or inamorato?  Are these two things one and the same?

I have to admit that I don't know if I've ever experienced that can't-live-without-you kind of love.  However, I most certainly have experienced that can't-quite-seem-to-let-go-of-you kind of love.  Therefore, it is tough for me to truly understand what real love is.  Does it include ridiculous fights that start over minuscule matters and escalate to the point of calling in police officers to mediate the situation?  Or constantly picking up shirts, socks, shorts, and a number of other miscellaneous items that are laying all over the house, waiting for you to hunt them down.  Is part of being in love selfish?  Or does real love mean that no matter what is going on, you will go out of your way to help out your partner, even if that means stepping away from the baseball, basketball, or hockey game?  Maybe love is different for all couples and it simply includes what one is willing to put up with.  This certainly takes the glamour out of the vision I hold when I hear the words 'soul mate'.

When I think about love, I imagine it as being a state in which you accept someone unconditionally.  (But I wonder if this is really possible when egos and expectations are involved.)  I would also think that two people who are in love would spend the majority of their time wrapped up in each other's happiness, passion, and tenderness.  What little disagreements they do have must surely be solved quickly and easily without yelling.  Little moments or subtleties are cherished even more than verbose, over-the-top displays of affection, because with real love there is a deeper understanding that goes far beyond words. 

Appreciation, acceptance, respect, even humility are all parts that make up real love.  But these are things that can be found just as easily in almost any positive relationship.  Therefore, no matter how much I want love to be able to take my breath away, give me goosebumps, swell my heart, and make me feel complete, I can't help but wonder if such a thing as one's soul mate even exists.  Is there really only one person out there who can offer me everything I want in love?  Or is there even one at all?  And as I sit here staring at my computer screen, eating my watermelon, I am questioning if I have found my one true love, or just another inamorato.


  1. The definition of "love" does vary from one person to the next. I do not believe in an unconditional love, or a love that means you will never fight, be angry, be selfless, etc. Love to me also does not mean that you'll never have situations where the police are required to mediate (though that's not a healthy situation by any means). One thing we must all remember is that no person is perfect, not even a soul mate. We are flawed beings in spite of what feelings we may feel. To me, love is the ability to forgive and overlook and forgive these flaws in people. To not be with someone in spite of them, but because of them.

    You asked, "Is there really only one person out there who can offer me everything I want in love?" The answer to this question is "most definitely", but where you are looking for this person is wrong. You see, to find this person you simply need to find a mirror, for this person is you. Once you begin to truly love yourself (ie learning to both forgive and embrace yourself for your own flaws), that is when you'll be capable of finding love with another.

  2. that's a really nice way of looking at things!