Tuesday, 28 August 2012

torpidity: apathetic, sluggish, or lethargic; unable to move or feel

After just over seven months of nights filled with broken sleep, days filled with endless activity, and little rest between the two, I am feeling extremely torpid.  When one is lost in a mode of sluggishness with no option to relax, where is one supposed to pull their liveliness from?  There must be some sort of untapped stores of energy within us that we can call upon when there is nothing left, when we are running on fumes. 

I'm sure we've all been there.... when we've been up all night, haven't slept for days, been working non-stop, and we feel like there is no possible way we will be able to carry on about our day, let alone even move our legs those few extra steps so we can plunk down on that nice squishy chesterfield.  But somehow, from somewhere within us, we find a boost in our verve.  And for a few moments we feel like we have enough stamina to not only make it through the next few minutes, but to carry on into the evening and forget about our little rest on the couch completely.  So where does this indefatigability come from?  I'm sure if I really delve into the scientific answer I will find something about dopamine and serotonin levels, but nonetheless it amazes me that the body is capable of pushing itself to such limits.  Why?  It isn't necessary for survival, it's purely based on one's personal will.

However, despite my desire to enthusiastically go about my day, it is with great torpidity that I pull my tired butt out of bed and begin my morning routine.  Sometimes it seems that no matter how many different ways I try to snap myself out of this zombie-like trance, I just can't seem to shake the lethargy that consumes me.  I am waiting for that oomph to hit me, throw some added zeal into my day and make me forget my exhaustion altogether.  But the more I focus on finding that extra bounce that I can stitch into my step, the more elusive it becomes.  Then, just when I feel like I'm going to break down into tears from the pure lassitude that devours me, when I am no longer looking for what it was I've been searching for, I suddenly find myself with the vivacity to go on about my day.  Ironically, it just takes getting my mind off of that which I seek in order to find it. 


  1. I like this one. The human body can be an incredible thing. In all it's frailties it has its moments of extreme strength and perseverance. One comment in particular I like to focus on, "Why? It isn't necessary for survival, it's purely based on one's personal will." I disagree with this statement, this little feature is most certainly necessary for survival, though of course not in this instance. Adrenaline pumps into our bodies to make us alert so that we can avoid danger, hunt prey, etc.

    I wish to direct you to the concept of fear. Fear is a survival mechanism as well, and yet we experience fear for things such as public speaking. Clearly not life threatening, but nonetheless it can cause fear for many people. So why is it that we experience these survival mechanisms in situations where our survival is not threatened? I believe it all boils down to the animalistic and carnal instincts that are in every one of us.

    No matter how civilized we may become, at our core we will always have the beast within.

  2. Greetings!

    I'm hopping over from GUTGAA and visiting some blogs before the fun begins! Nice to meet you...you have a lovely blog!

    Donna L Martin

    1. Thanks for stopping by Donna. I haven't had a chance to check out too many blogs yet. I find it so overwhelming with such a large number of them, but I will have to pop over and take a look at yours as well :)

  3. Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the images on this blog loading?
    I'm trying to figure out if its a problem on my end or if it's the blog.
    Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

    my site; filing bankruptcy in florida